Jokes

 Riddles  1. What begins with P, ends with E, and has 1,000 letters?  Post office.   2. What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?  Envelope.   3. What kind of nut has a hole?  Donut.   4. A cowboy rode into town on Friday, stayed three days, and left on Friday. How is this possible?  His horse's name is "Friday."   5. What do you call a fish without an eye?  A "fsh!"  <span style="color: #800000; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> 6. What car is spelled the same forwards and backwards? <span style="color: #ff00ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"> Racecar. <span style="color: #800000; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> <span style="color: #800000; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> 7. If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become? <span style="color: #ff00ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"> Wet? <span style="color: #800000; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> <span style="color: #800000; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif;"> 8. What month has 28 days? <span style="color: #ff00ff; font-family: 'Palatino Linotype','Book Antiqua',Palatino,serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"> All of them! <span style="color: #008000; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive; font-size: 36pt; line-height: 115%; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"> Jokes 1. Two cannibals were eating a clown. One cannibal looked at the other cannibal and said, "Do you taste something funny?" 2. Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin looked at the other and said, "Hey man, is it getting hot in here?" The other muffin said, "Ahhhhh! You can talk!" 3. Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9 (7 8 9). 4. A woman carrying a baby gets on a bus. As she pays the fare, the bus driver looks at the baby and says, "Ugh! Lady, that's absolutely the ugliest baby I've ever seen." The woman is fuming. Still carrying the baby, she walks back toward the rear of the bus, finds an empty seat and sits down. She says to a man sitting next to her, "The bus driver was terribly rude to me when I got on. I've never been so insulted in all my life! I've got half a mind to tell him off." The man says, "And that's what you should do. Don't let him get away with insulting you. Walk right up there and let him know how you feel. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." 5. Patient: "Doctor, I think I'm suffering from memory loss." Doctor: "Have you ever had it before?" 6. Doctor: "What's wrong with your brother?" Boy: "He thinks he's a chicken." Doctor: "Really? How long has he thought this?" Boy: "Three years." Doctor: "Three years!" Boy: "We would have brought him in sooner, but we needed the eggs." 7. Patient: "Something's wrong! I'm shrinking!" Doctor: "Take it easy, sir. You'll just have to be a little patient." 8. Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many problems. 9. What did the numeral 0 say to the numeral 8? Nice belt! 10. A guy yells across the river, "Hey, how do you get to the other side of this river?" Another guy on the other side yells back, "You are on the other side!" 11. Can an elephant jump higher than a lamppost? Yes. Lampposts can't jump. 12. Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left him.